THIS COULD HAPPEN
by Rick
Summary: xANDER HELPS bUFFY REMEMBER WHO SHE IS
1. Default Chapter

TITLE: This Could Happen AUTHOR: Rick E-MAIL: rsieber20012002@yahoo.com DISCLAIMER: All the Buffy characters belong to Josh Whedon and others. SUMMARY: The title...B\X of course.  
  
*** WARNING!!! SPOILER FOR THIS SEASON, FOLLOWS TIMELINE OF SHOW!!!!  
  
Xander felt a little guilty. The First was ever present. Most of what he and his friends did revolved around that. But, this was an accident actually. They still had to pay normal bills so Xander did have to spend some time at work. He was the boss and mostly gave instructions over the phone but he had to show up on sight from time to time. The sister of his foreman showed up one day with some lunch for her brother. Xander had to entertain her because he sent the man on an errand during lunch time. Patrice was a very beautiful woman. Her blonde hair hung in waves from her head down past her shoulders. Her eyes invited you to share a pleasant moment in her company. Her friendliness was very appealing. Their was nothing foreboding or depressing about her gaze, no dark past or deadly future lingering in her touch. Yes, her touch. From that meeting a few weeks ago there have been a few lunches and quite a few late nights. Xander can't help it. Patrice is very loving and comforting. She knows how to make him feel very wanted and normal even. Buffy wasn't the only one who craved normalcy at times. Practically shut out from the group he took pleasure where ever he found it. Right now Patrice was the best thing in his life. And, from her words and actions he knew he was the best for her also. Okay, so she didn't know anything about the night, about Sunnydale at night. She never heard of the first, or Adam or the Key or anything else going on around her when the sun went down. But, damn it, they were good together. And, as Xander looked at himself in the bathroom mirror, it was time to let the others in on it. And to let Patrice in on some of what he was about. When he went downstairs he saw Dawn first.  
  
"Hey, Dawnie, listen...I met somebody, I won't be home for dinner tonight."  
  
"Oh, that's cool, Xander, but...you still love us right?" Xander has to laugh. He puts his arm around her affectionately.  
  
"Dawn, you especially have nothing to worry about. Patrice is nice but she's not a Summer's girl."  
  
Willow catches the last part of the conversation. "Who's not a Summer's girl?"  
  
"Patrice, I met someone I'm going out with."  
  
Before Willow can react Buffy gets into the conversation. "Did I hear you flirting with my baby sister again?"  
  
Buffy looks at Willow who seems as if she's heard some real bad news. She looks back to Xander.  
  
"What did you say to Willow to get her all...well, like that?"  
  
"Nothing Buff...I just told her I met someone and I won't be home tonight."  
  
"What do you mean you met someone?"  
  
Xander lets out with a nervous laugh. "Buff...you know, met someone as in: someone of the opposite sex, or same sex, that I find attractive."  
  
Buffy can't help herself. She looks at Xander hard for a minute. For some reason she feels hurt. She recovers but still doesn't like it.  
  
"That's ridiculous, Xander!"  
  
Willow is over her shock. Her attention is turned to Buffy now who seems very upset. Xander shakes his head.  
  
"I don't understand?"  
  
Buffy sees all eyes on her so she tries to make her objection less personal.  
  
"Xander, that's totally irresponsible with everything that's going on around here. Don't you care about us anymore?" "Buff, my whole life is you...us...everybody here. If you want to get down to it you're the one who forgets the rest of us."  
  
Ah oh...here we go.  
  
"What is that suppose to mean, Xander?"  
  
Xander tries to soften what he said. He approaches Buffy, trying to put his hand on her shoulder.  
  
"Don't touch me Xander, just tell me what you mean?"  
  
"Buff, I don't want to get into this here, in front of everyone."  
  
"You said it in front of everyone, now finish it."  
  
"All I said was I met a very nice woman. We like each other. I'm spending the night..."  
  
Buffy interrupts him. "The night? You're already sleeping with her, Xander?"  
  
"Come on Buff, since when are you interested in where I spend the night? I sleep at night, wrong species for you."  
  
Willow has to comment on this. "That is very harsh, Xander!"  
  
This inflames the Slayer. She goes toe to toe with him.  
  
"You son of a bitch! What I do with my life is my business. At least I'm not playing house with a bimbo while my friends sweat over the end of the world!"  
  
Now they're both in a zone.  
  
"Oh no, all you're doing is playing rough house with a half souled, half chipped freak while we try to keep your pitiful life together for you!"  
  
Buffy grabs Xander roughly by the shirt. He doesn't even flinch. Nobody can get her as upset as Xander.  
  
"You're real close to going on your ass here Xander."  
  
"Bullshit, Buffy, hit me...go ahead, you need me a lot more than I need you right now. Push us all away. You're alone remember? Want me to call Spike, or how about Angel? You and him can do the rumba together, hey then we can have Angelus again, wouldn't that be fun? Throw him into the mix."  
  
That was it, Buffy took enough from him. She swings her fist and connects with the side of his face. Even before she is finished she realizes she made a big mistake. The blow sends Xander crashing into the phone table shattering it.  
  
He gets up without even touching his bloody lip. He goes right back to a now stunned Buffy.  
  
"Xander....I'm..."  
  
He interrupts her.  
  
"You're pathetic, do you know that?"  
  
He starts to leave but comes back to her.  
  
"You're not going to believe this but this is more for you than it is for me."  
  
He proceeds to slap her in the face. Not hard but just enough to shock her. He then turns to Dawn.  
  
"Like I said honey. I won't be home tonight. I'll call to check on things."  
  
No one says a word as the door slams. Buffy is holding her face where Xander slapped her. Tears are falling down her cheeks. Finally Willow goes to her. She looks at the Witch.  
  
"Xander slapped me. He...he slapped me in the face, Willow." Willow sighs before answering. "I know, Buffy, and you hit him, you hit Xander!"  
  
"I know Willow, but he...he slapped me. I thought he...I thought he loved me."  
  
Dawn goes over to her. "Ah sis, wake up! You used him to break the telephone table remember? He only slapped you so you wouldn't feel so guilty about hitting him. He thinks about you until the end, the fool!"  
  
Buffy is still in shock. She goes to her bedroom to cry. She doesn't even know what just happened. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	2. THIS COULD HAPPEN 24

TITLE: Rick AUTHOR: This Could Happen 2\4 E-MAIL: rsieber20012002@yahoo.com DISCLAIMER: All the Buffy characters are owned by Josh Whedon and others. SUMMARY: The Title...WARNING*** FOLLOWS TIMELINE OF SHOW MAJOR SPOILERS!!  
  
Buffy doesn't know what to do. Why did Xander say those things to her? And he actually slapped her. She has to get Willow. The Red Head reluctantly goes with her up to the bedroom.  
  
"Okay, Will, nothing sugar coated. What just happened here?"  
  
Willow doesn't feel like getting into it. "Oh, Buffy.please?"  
  
"I get the feeling it was something important and I missed it. Why was Xander like that? Why was he all angry and everything?"  
  
Willow has been caring about no one but herself lately. Maybe she should tell Buffy what Xander is feeling. It's not like she doesn't know.  
  
"First of all, Buffy, you hit Xander. I mean really hit him!"  
  
"I know Will, I know I did, I'm sorry. He wouldn't let me say it to him."  
  
"Buffy, he's right, why would you care about Xander finding someone?"  
  
Buffy wasn't ready for this question. She was talking about the other stuff he said. She tries to change the subject.  
  
"I'm talking about the other stuff, Willow."  
  
"Buffy you hit Xander because you were upset about him going out with that woman."  
  
Buffy doesn't know what to say. It was true.  
  
"Willow, I have no idea why I got upset. He said it and.I don't know. All of a sudden I thought about the possibility of him not being here. It really scared me."  
  
Willow doesn't know what to say either. Buffy has never really commented on Xander's love life before.  
  
"Buffy, he has always been with somebody, Cordelia, Anya. It never bothered you before."  
  
Buffy has to close her eyes. "I don't know why it bothered me.it didn't bother me I mean. It's just he always."  
  
She doesn't finish. "He always what, Buffy?"  
  
"Do you think he should be off with some woman while we.need him so.badly?"  
  
As Buffy is saying these words something comes to her, something very disturbing. She sits down sighing.  
  
Willow only stares.  
  
"Willow, I know Xander hasn't really been involved with a lot of the events of the past few years. That I've tried to keep him out of them but.he was still always there. Even when I didn't see him or talk to him. I just knew.I knew he would show up if I really needed him, that he would.save me."  
  
"So, now you think he won't?"  
  
"I don't know. Did you see the look in his eyes when he said those things to me?"  
  
"Yes I did, Buffy, and I have to say he looked pretty disgusted. And then you hit him, Buffy."  
  
"Willow, do you believe what Dawn said, that Xander only slapped me so I wouldn't feel so guilty about hitting him? You know, so it would be we both hit each other?"  
  
"Yea, Xander would do that."  
  
"For me.even though I just hit him?"  
  
"When I first got back from England Xander and I spent some time together talking about the slaying and his part in it. He was really worried about you. He feels you've changed and he doesn't even know you anymore."  
  
"Why didn't you tell me that before, Willow?"  
  
"Frankly Buffy I didn't think you'd care what he said. It's not like the three of us are, you know, like we were before."  
  
"You honestly didn't think I would care what Xander thought about me? I thought he loved me and I was his hero and. how about what he said to the SIT about me."  
  
"Buffy, they needed to hear that. They were starting to doubt you. He told them about the Buffy he knew.and loved."  
  
The Slayer starts crying again. "But.but not the Buffy I am now?"  
  
"Look, Buffy, what does he know anyway? He doesn't know about everything you feel and."  
  
"Yes he does Willow, he knows all about me. He always has known what's going on inside me. If I blew it with him, Will."  
  
"Buffy, when you say that what do you mean?"  
  
"I don't know.I can't lose him, Willow I can't. I don't care how much it doesn't seem like I care about him. He has always been here for me. I'm so hung up on all this outside stuff and all this vampire with a soul stuff. Willow I'm telling you. I can't do any of this without him."  
  
"Buffy, why now? Why did it take you this long to realize it. It's almost too late."  
  
"Willow, I never told anybody this but when Xander didn't.I mean when he walked out on Anya. She blamed me. She said he couldn't love anybody else while I was around."  
  
"Buffy, so much has happened, so many hard feelings. I hope it's not too late."  
  
"What am I going to do, Willow?"  
  
"Look, Buffy, if you really and truly want to patch it up with him you're going to have to do some things I don't think you're ready to do."  
  
"You're scaring me now, like what?"  
  
"All this business with Spike really, really bothers Xander."  
  
"Because he's jealous like with Angel?"  
  
"He might be jealous, Buffy, but it has to do more with what it does to you then who you sleep with."  
  
This is a real revelation for Buffy. "Willow.I don't think I could do any of this stuff if Xander."  
  
"If Xander, what Buffy?"  
  
"If Xander doesn't.if he doesn't love.me."  
  
Buffy starts whimpering. Willow confronts her. "Oh, Buffy, I wish you would have felt this way before."  
  
"Willow, I did.I've always felt this way about.him."  
  
"Maybe you did, Buffy, but you never told him. Come to think of it you never told me either." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Xander is pissed off, and for good reason. But he is also relieved. He finally told Buffy what he thinks about her behavior these past few years. She needed to hear that. He may not be Spike or Angel or Riley but he knows Buffy as good as anyone. He knows what makes her Buffy Summers as well as what makes her Buffy the Vampire Slayer. That use to mean something to her, use to make him special in her life. Then she took the little trip to the dark side, the dark and gloomy side. That is not her, damn it, and it is going to lead to her defeat, and every one else's along with it! He's not going to back down from what he said and he's not going to stop seeing Patrice either. They have gotten very close. But she can tell his head or his heart is not with her tonight.  
  
"Xander, what are you preoccupied with tonight, is it her?"  
  
Xander is puzzled. "Ah, her.as in who?"  
  
"Buffy?"  
  
"What? How do you know about.Buffy?"  
  
"You say her name, Xander."  
  
"You mean when we're.you know?"  
  
"No honey, not when we're making love. But you say her name in your sleep. Any time we fall asleep you say her name. I know whoever she is she is deep inside you Xander."  
  
"Patrice, I am so sorry."  
  
They walk in silence until Patrice breaks it. "Ah, Xander, this is the part where you tell me who she is and how she doesn't mean anything to you anymore."  
  
All of a sudden trying to explain Buffy, especially after what happened today, seems way too complicated.  
  
"Patrice I.she is."  
  
When he can't even tell her about Buffy Patrice gets very sad. "I was afraid of that, Xander. I've gotten to know you Xander, even in your sleep I can tell she isn't just some fling you had in the past. She is deep inside of you, Xander."  
  
Patrice begins to cry. Xander is heart broken. But how can he explain what Buffy is to him when he doesn't even know himself anymore.  
  
All they can do is stare at each other in tears.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
In the meantime Buffy, Faith and Spike are out on patrol. Faith has got to find out what happened.  
  
"So let me get this straight, B, Xander told you he's met another woman he likes and you called her a bimbo and attacked him in a jealous rage?"  
  
Spike takes issue with this. "Bloody hell!"  
  
"No, she did, she nailed him, broke the damned telephone table."  
  
Spike turns to Buffy. "You hit Droopy.why?"  
  
Faith answers for her. "I told you. He told her he has the hots for some other blonde and she saw red."  
  
They both look to Buffy for her explanation. "Ah, could we move on to a more public conversation. My private life should not be."  
  
"B, you did it in front of the whole house hold. You didn't care much about your privacy when you did it."  
  
"Look, I don't know what that was, okay."  
  
"It isn't very hard to figure out."  
  
"And what does that mean, Faith?"  
  
"Buffy, I tried to explain it to you before. The guy is always around. He's one of the good ones. The one thing nobody questions is whose side he's on."  
  
"I know Faith, that's the problem. I don't know whether he's still on my side or not."  
  
"Look, I don't even know if I can stay on your side but I do know Xander is not going anywhere. But if you're so worried about it make sure he doesn't."  
  
"Which means?"  
  
"Come on B you're a smart woman. He's always loved you."  
  
In her own way Faith always has a way of making complicated things very simple. Why hasn't she ever turned to Xander? Spike can see Buffy's wheels spinning on that. He interrupts with his own answer.  
  
"Yea but he's too dull. Buffy likes it rough."  
  
This bothers Buffy greatly. No she doesn't. not really. Right now flashes of her old self come back. Her old self when she was strong and confident and completely on her game. And when something seemingly had the best of her there was always.Xander. She has to fight not to break down in tears in front of Faith and Spike. All of a sudden she doesn't seem to be comfortable with either of them. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`` 


	3. THIS COULD HAPPEN 34

TITLE: This Could Happen 3\4 AUTHOR: Rick E-MAIL: rsieber20012002@yahoo.com DISCLAIMER: All the Buffy characters belong to Josh Whedon and others. SUMMARY: The title...B\X of course.  
  
*** WARNING!!! SPOILER FOR THIS SEASON, FOLLOWS TIMELINE OF SHOW!!!!  
  
A\N This is for my friend, Heather. I like her stuff better than mine...and I did write her a poem...lol  
  
A\N It is getting very hard to follow the universe of the show and still write a good story. I will skip the brutality of two episodes ago and the B\S lead in of last week  
  
After Patrice and Xander say good night the Scooby walks to the park. He probably just blew his chance to be happy right now. Patrice thinks he is one of the best people she has ever met. She can even make him laugh. Their relationship thus far is one of giving and taking. Her attention is focused on him. She is strong but not afraid to let on how much she would like to be with him. She is beautiful and great in bed. And Xander feels she may even be able to handle his other life, help as much as she can. But, what does Xander do?. He keeps moaning Buffy's name in his sleep. And all he can do now is rehash the big fight they had. The end of the world, the First, blah, blah, blah. No matter what he does he cannot divorce himself from the blonde haired, spoiled Slayer. She haunts him, plaques him, occupies him though they are neither married nor even a couple. And Buffy has been screwing up big time, doing everything but forgetting he lives. She takes his presence for granted when she wants and needs him and expects him to disappear for long stretches of time when she doesn't need him. He's actually sick of Buffy and his childhood friend, Willow. Okay, he and the Witch did rebound a bit when she came back from England but he is the one who saved her by saving the world. She and Buffy make joke of it whenever it is brought up as a topic of conversation. He doesn't need a medal just a place at the table. One befitting his contribution these past seven years (which is almost a third of his entire life right now) So, now he knows all this stuff. Now he knows the extent of the gap between he and the Slayer. And, short of her being reborn again to her old self, he is relegated to occasional participant in the anti-hellmouth activities. Why then does he stay? Why does he allow Buffy to dominate his consciousness? He wishes to hell he knew. He can get himself to the point of leaving but then memories flood back to him. Memories of Buffy being tortured by her lover turned tormentor. Of the look on Buffy's face when he comforted her at the Funeral parlor after Theresa's message from Angelus. She was scared, tired, alone and she turned to him for comfort. And, it happened, he did comfort her, she did feel better. Many more enter his mind and heart and when he thinks of these times he brings back the feelings he had for her when they were happening. But, that young woman doesn't exist anymore. Buffy gave up the struggle to remain that woman or to grow in those qualities. She gave it up first with Angel and now with Spike. She choose to forget her roots and hence she is no longer the Buffy he knew and loved. But still he cannot just walk away. No matter who thinks they know better Xander is still the one who has her back. And he knows the battle, understands the rules of engagement, knows Buffy's heart as he said to the SIT. And it is not just for Buffy and maybe not even especially Buffy. The First will take everyone, no one is exempt. They may not be aware of the struggle but they most definitely will be aware of the consequences should Xander and Buffy and the others lose. So this is much bigger than just he and Buffy anyway. Xander's attention is drawn to a couple passing idly in the park. Unless he is mistaken the male part of the couple is one of our night time friends. He slides the stake down from his sleeve and begins to follow. At one point they stop and after kissing he goes for her neck. Xander barrels into the both of them. The girl is shocked. Xander addresses her.  
  
"Listen Miss just get out of here, this guy is not what you think he is."  
  
The Vamp really wants his prey so he tries to play innocent. "What are you talking about? Are you a mugger?"  
  
Xander begins to circle him. "Just leave I'm telling you. If I didn't notice this blood sucker you would be dead right now. Just take my word for it."  
  
Xander punches the vamp. The girl screams and tried to help her supposed friend. Xander can't believe it.  
  
"Damn it, just what I need. This guy is a vampire, do you understand that?"  
  
Xander attacks him again, the girl comes to his aide again. The vamp is getting a charge out of it. The Scooby has to come up with something fast.  
  
"I can prove it. Do you have anything with a mirror in it? Just hold it up to this guy."  
  
When he hears this the Vamp makes a move on Xander. As they are struggling on the ground the girl holds her compact mirror up to her companion. When she does this the bloodsucker grabs her. He puts a knife to her throat.  
  
"Touch me and I'll slice her throat."  
  
Xander has to think fast. He decides to take a chance.  
  
"Go ahead."  
  
The girls eyes bug out. This response surprises the Vamp.  
  
"What?"  
  
Xander slowly moves toward the pair as he speaks.  
  
"Go ahead slit her throat. And as soon as you do you're dust in the wind."  
  
He moves very close as he finishes.  
  
"Think you can do both, slit her throat and stop me, try it I'm game."  
  
The Vamp thinks about this as Xander gets to within a short lunge of him. He does the smart thing. He pushes the young woman into Xander as hard as he can then bolts for safety. Xander had a look in his eye like he was very used to staking people of his persuasion.  
  
Both Xander and the girl hit the ground. At this point she is almost hysterical. She grabs Xander.  
  
"What are you doing, what are you trying to do!"  
  
By the time Xander can get untangled from her the Vamp is gone in the shadows. He is furious.  
  
"Damn it, why didn't you just believe me?"  
  
"How...how am I suppose to know he was a vamp...vampire?"  
  
Xander sighs. The people of this town are so damned unconscious. All he can do is try to offer her comfort. He hugs her.  
  
"Honey, you're safe now. Let me walk you home."  
  
After about fifteen minutes of walking the girl begins to calm down enough to realize Xander just saved her life.  
  
"Look, I'm sorry I made it harder, thank you...thank you for saving my life." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Buffy is taking a walk. Her mind is on Xander, replaying the argument they had and trying to understand what Willow told her. Trying to process that Xander is not happy with the way she is now. Deep inside she knows something is wrong, very wrong but she is trying to address that. She is ashamed of herself for hitting Xander but, also, still shocked that he slapped her. To put it simply she feels very weird. At the moment she doesn't care about anything else but making it right with Xander. It is foremost in her mind and heart. But, for some reason she is also angry at Xander. Why did he let things get this out of hand? Anyway she has to find him. As she walks down the street she sees two people hugging. One is obviously upset. When she gets closer she recognizes one of the people as Xander. He is comforting a woman. She is crying into his chest. She thinks out loud..  
  
"Damn it, I should have known. I need to talk to him and he's making hero with his girl friend!"  
  
She stands a few feet behind them. She can hear Xander's words as he speaks.  
  
"It's okay, honey, I didn't mean to be so hard about it. Sometimes I don't understand why the people of this town don't understand how dangerous it is at night."  
  
"I'll never go out at night alone again I promise. Thank you for saving my life, Xander."  
  
"It's okay Laura...this is your house right?"  
  
The girl doesn't answer. She practically runs into her house. When Xander turns around he sees Buffy. Her intention was to apologize and try to make it up to him but for some reason seeing that woman fawn all over him has her angry again.  
  
"Playing hero with your girl friend, Xander?"  
  
"Well, hello to you too, Buff."  
  
"Did you take your girl friend out at night so you could be her hero and save her?"  
  
Xander was trying to walk away from her but now she has him pissed again. He goes back to her.  
  
"Why are you here, Buff?"  
  
Buffy cannot get passed her jealousy.  
  
"Wait a minute, I thought your girl friend was a blonde? That girl had brunette hair."  
  
"Oh gees what a brilliant observation. No wonder you're the chose one."  
  
"So that's another girl?"  
  
Xander doesn't know why but he decides to defend himself .  
  
"So what of it, Buff?"  
  
"Are you out of control? Are you trying to be the stud of Sunnydale."  
  
"I'm lucky I even know that girl's name, okay?"  
  
"Well you're slipping champ, she was falling all over you. You had her."  
  
Xander is into it now. "See, some of us don't take advantage of a woman when she's scared or vulnerable. But of course your men think that's prime time!"  
  
That really shocks Buffy. She is stunned. As they walk Xander notices Buffy welling up. It is one thing for him to defend himself from her verbal attacks or to be in her face when she is being insensitive. But he cannot take it when she is vulnerable or sad, especially when it was he who brought on the tears. He stops, putting his hands gently on her shoulders.  
  
"Buff, I was in the park still upset from our huge fight. I noticed a Vamp trying to secure his meal for the night. I was able to get Laura away from it. I didn't even kill it. He probably grabbed somebody else, okay. I'm no hero. I was able to save her so I did."  
  
This wakes Buffy from her jealousy.  
  
"Xander, ...I'm...I'm sorry. And I'm sorry for hitting you."  
  
"Buff, I really don't know why you were so upset today or, even why you were upset just now but I am prepared to forget all that. We have a job to do and we need to do it. I'll play as big or as little a role as you want."  
  
Buffy was not ready for this. She was not ready for Xander to be this mature or adult. She was not ready for him to forget his anger for the cause. It makes her even more sad. Xander is amazing and she never even noticed. What he said about rescuing Laura was unbelievable, he is a hero. All she can do is whimper slightly as they walk. They are downtown now. Xander has Buffy sit down close to a fountain. He takes a clean handkerchief from his back pocket, soaking it in the cool water. Buffy's face was streaked with tears. He lovingly wipes them from her face. Buffy is transfixed. She has never had anyone do this for her. It's a very simple thing but Xander's manner is so damned loving and comforting. It feels so good. One thought crosses her mind; can this be what love feels like, real love, one person caring for another? No darkness, no wild orgies or dangerous liaisons. Just one person making another feel cared for and safe? Is this her missing link, the part of her she lost to the dark side, the ability to recognize and appreciate the love all around her? Was Xander always able to be like this to her? She called him useless. She forgot that she could be sad or vulnerable or depressed around him. He wouldn't use it to get her or take advantage of her. He would do his best to make her feel better.  
  
Just like he is doing now. The only problem is the tears keep falling. Xander sees the deep sadness in her eyes. He sees the years of struggle and death and grief that have plagued Buffy for years now. She never asked for it, never. It came like a thief in the night to rob her of her youth, her innocence, any chance of her enjoying the fruits of her life as most people do. When Buffy is before him as she is now it can melt the anger and the frustration and the disappointment of watching her change right before his eyes. He does not want to see her cry or need to see her weak to feel useful. But he does need her to accept what he has to offer, to understand that she needs it very desperately. That is her strength, her fortress, her base to fight the night. It doesn't take an Angel or a messenger from the PTB to set Buffy straight. All she has to do is open her eyes.  
  
Buffy cannot help herself. She brings her face closer to his. Xander is now frozen by the look in her eyes. He sees the old Buffy, the woman...he loved. He hesitates though as Buffy approaches his lips with hers.  
  
"Buff...no."  
  
"Please Xander, nothing has ever felt as natural to me before."  
  
She gently brushes his lips. Xander gets short of breath but doesn't deepen the kiss. Buffy is shaking with the intensity of it but is shocked Xander is not responding. He can barely control himself, most of him wanting to just give in to this moment but...he can't  
  
He gets up. Buffy stands in front of him  
  
"Buff, I'm sorry, it's not...it's not that easy."  
  
They walk home silently. Buffy should have known. This is Sunnydale, this is her life, nothing comes easy, nothing! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	4. THIS COULD HAPPEN 44

TITLE: This Could Happen 4\4 AUTHOR: Rick E-MAIL: rsieber20012002@yahoo.com DISCLAIMER: All the Buffy characters belong to Josh Whedon and others. SUMMARY: The title...B\X of course.  
  
*** WARNING!!! SPOILER FOR THIS SEASON, FOLLOWS TIMELINE OF SHOW!!!!  
  
A\N This is for my friend, Heather. I like her stuff better than mine...and I did write her a poem...lol  
  
A\N It is getting very hard to follow the universe of the show and still write a good story. I will skip the brutality of two episodes ago and the B\S lead in of last week  
A FEW WEEKS LATER  
  
As Willow comes down from upstairs Dawn greets her.  
  
"Are they coming?"  
  
"I don't think so."  
  
"Which is it this time, is he yelling at her or vice versa?"  
  
"I think it's still him."  
  
"She thinks just because she decides to change he's suppose to lay down and worship her. Not my Xander, he'll make her grovel for at least another month!"  
  
"Dawn, that's not nice you know?"  
  
"Come on, Willow, tell the truth. Last week when Xander called her a spoiled brat when she tried to do her "alone against the world routine again, you thought it was neat too."  
  
"Yes but he can go too far, you know."  
  
"She's still in charge. He loves her and she knows it. I've never seen Buffy happier. And for the first time the whole household thinks we have a chance against the first. The rest is just unresolved sexual tension."  
  
Willow looks at the teenager. "Buffy's right, you need to go to the convent." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~` Upstairs Xander is in Buffy's bedroom relaxing in a chair while the Slayer wears the rug out pacing.  
  
"Xander, you're out of line. Now that you know I lov...care about you, you milk it for everything you can get."  
  
"Look, Buffy, I'm getting tired of saying this. This doesn't have a damned thing to do with ,me being jealous. Maybe I am okay but, your position with Spike stinks. You actually took Spike's side against Principal Wood. Spike brutally murdered his mother Buffy, she was you, a slayer."  
  
"I just told him to cool his personal vendetta until we dealt with the first."  
  
"Buffy, the human being who was Spike died a long time ago. He was murdered and changed by another of your ex's, remember? That is a tragedy, Buffy, and if he had lived during this time maybe we could have saved his life."  
  
Buffy has been listening to Xander but she still fights certain things he says. But Xander continues.  
  
"Buffy, he was changed and then he went on a killing rampage. He jumped Willow and I and hurt me."  
  
Xander says the next part very slowly as if he thinks Buffy hasn't really dealt with this fact yet.  
  
"He... killed... a... Slayer, hell he might have even killed two. Does that mean we condemn him to hell forever. No, not if he has changed and has a soul. But you don't stick him on the front lines. Buffy, come to your senses. You understand now that there are people around you who have your back and who know what you do and do not need."  
  
"Giles agreed he should die, even. He's not jealous of Spike."  
  
"You want to kill Spike, don't you?"  
  
Xander has lost his patience for now. He gets up to leave.  
  
"What's the matter, Xander, am I hitting too close to home?"  
  
"You know part of me is getting tired of this shit with you. What the hell happened to you, Buffy?"  
  
"You're suppose to know me so damned well, you figure it out!"  
  
Xander sighs but doesn't leave. Buffy walked to the window. He walks to her.  
  
"Buffy, I'm sorry I said that the way I did. Honey, I'm not saying to kill Spike and I'm not even saying that Principal Wood should do it either. I've talked to him. We agreed that he could be useful, Giles does too. I'm just telling you not to allow him to take your back. There's too much shit around him. He might be good but we don't know."  
  
"I know, Xander."  
  
"Okay, Buffy, you're the Slayer and a damned good one. You're instincts are honed to a fine edge. So let's allow him to help us. Just do not let him be the one covering your back."  
  
He really has Buffy's attention again. He's doing his mature thing again. She will never tell him about the butterflies every time he does that.  
  
"Buffy, my specialty is knowing you, and knowing who you should not be trusting. Spike has helped us. He also helped Dawn but even she knows not to trust him. We can't afford to have him with an identity crisis while he's got direct access to you."  
  
Buffy cannot say too much. She just thinks it over as Xander continues to speak. He has shown her repeatedly in the last two weeks that he is right on the money with his analysis , especially when it concerns her life directly.  
  
He finishes the thought. "He's strong and he does love you. We can use him but not in a position where they can use him to get to you."  
  
"The First could use anyone of us, Xander."  
  
"Buffy, I wasn't going to tell you this, ever, but before Giles accepted me as a helper for you he had a long talk with me. Part of it was that I had to be willing to die before I would let the forces of this place to use me against you. I agreed to that then and I still do."  
  
This is another shocker for Buffy. She never thought about it before but hearing this gives her a huge idea of how serious Xander is in her commitment to her. It is amazing.  
  
"Xander, I...I don't know what to say."  
  
"Buffy, you don't have to say anything. This is just the way it is. It is real serious and always has been serious but, we can face it...without getting all dark and pushing your friends away. Just listen to us sometimes. Nobody who is really on your team has much ego involved here, Buffy. We know who the main player is and we know how to keep you alive. And you know how to save us and the rest of the world in the process."  
  
Buffy sighs. This man before her is amazing, special, a White Knight for her life.  
  
She can't help it. She gets very close to him.  
  
"Xander?"  
  
"Yes Buffy."  
  
She playfully runs her fingers across his stomach, it visibly tickles him.  
  
"Can we stop the serious stuff for now?"  
  
"Buffy, do you understand?"  
  
"Yes Xander I understand. I get it, you know me and you know what keeps me strong...most of the time."  
  
"Most of the time?"  
  
Buffy starts playing with his stomach again. "Well, right now you're sort of neglecting the obvious."  
  
"Buffy, I don't want to keep going over this time after time."  
  
"Why, I thought you liked spending time with me?"  
  
Xander thinks about this for a minute. "You're not just saying things so I'll...just so we can spend time together...you wouldn't."  
  
Buffy goes into pouting mode.  
  
"You brat!"  
  
Xander tries to push her away half heartedly but Buffy won't let go. Finally she pushes him onto the bed.  
  
"You know Xander, I know lots about you too and I'm prepared to use it all to get you off your high horse.'  
  
She starts to get him unmercifully, tickling any part of him she can reach. He is obviously enjoying it. He finally gets away from her and it is his turn. They romp all over the room. Finally they stop for air. Xander has Buffy's arms pinned on either side of her. He looks deeply into her eyes.  
  
"Xander, these past few weeks. I've...it's like the whole weight of the world is getting lighter. You...I can't even explain to you what you are doing for me. Xander, I can't help it, I love you, I'm in love with you. I know I let you and the other's down so much. And I know I broke your heart in the process.'  
  
She wells up as she continues. "Xander do you see...I mean can you see the Buffy Summers you met and...loved? Do you see her anywhere anymore?"  
  
"Buffy, truthfully...I didn't know when to tell you this but...I see her now every time I look at you,"  
  
Buffy's tears flow freely but this time for joy. Xander starts by kissing her chin lightly moving his way up to her lips. Buffy shudders slightly under him. He deepens the kiss freeing her wrists so she can fully embrace him. It is very passionate. Xander breaks for a moment.  
  
"Buffy, I love you more now then I ever did. It didn't take long once you got to be your real self. It scares me."  
  
"Xander, I will never leave you, not physically and not any other way either. What you see now is me forever. I'm back and I'm staying back."  
  
She decides to lighten the mood after another heavy kiss.  
  
"So, if my test is finally over do you think I can stop imagining what you look like nude and find out oh guru of mine?"  
  
"Well I think that can be arranged. I sort of been having similar thoughts about your anatomy."  
  
"Ooh, big words, I like it when you talk big to me."  
  
Willow and Dawn are sitting on the steps wondering if they're ever going to see Buffy and Xander again. Dawn complains.  
  
"Okay, let's see, first they were yelling at each other, they were wrestling all around the room. And now they are stone quiet. So either they killed each other or..."  
  
Willow stops there. "We won't go there Dawn. You and I will go eat lunch and we won't even worry about what big sister and her...her..."  
  
"Stud is doing, I think it's rather clear!"  
  
"You know I phoned that convent." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


End file.
